This week my questions/comments are regarding Ron's rule # 45: "Never cut line. If someone cuts in front of you, do not say or do anything about it. Let it happen, but let me know about it. I will handle the situation. If you fuss with someone who has cut in line, you could get in trouble as well. It's not worth it; just let me know what happened. Please handle all disputes with other classmates in the same manner, by coming to me with any problems before you take matters into your own hands."
I'm going to go with my same kind of concept that I talked about last week, and that is, how do we generalize this way of thinking to have a greater impact on what happens in the classroom on a daily basis. I do like over all theme of what much of this week's reading assignment was about - which I felt like was focused on manners. So the question is, "What are some ways that you use or have used to get kids to see that we don't need to sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff." There are a lot of behaviors that ultimately end up in the office where one child thinks that something is a much bigger deal than what it is. What are some ways that we can get kids to respond with a more thought out approach, a less instinctive knee jerk reaction to whatever the situation is. IF someone steps on your foot while you are standing in line, you shrug it off, not push them down and call them stupid. How do we keep driving that idea home?
I guess I should have maybe picked another rule to write about since Vickie also picked this one, but I guess we both think there is something significant there to talk about. At first when I read about Ron wanting his students to tell him when there is an issue, I starting thinking about how that might end up in a tattle-fest, but I suppose that with the other structures that he has in place, there would probably be another rule about how it is not polite to point out other's faults. I do believe that kids should be willing to try to address things on thier own, but we have to teach them the skills necessary to address them appropriately - without true conflict. Conflict resolution is an important life skill and doing it peacefully will get you much farther in life than by bullying your way to what you want. Kids need to know that and know that we expect it of them.
As for bullying your way to what you want….One important thing I think we need to do at NUE is MODEL what conflict resolution looks like. We need to be cautious in how we handle problems and frustrations in the classroom as 20+ kids are watching our every move.
ReplyDeleteAs I mentioned in my comment to Vickie’s question, it seems to be an ongoing struggle to teach kids when it is a good idea to involve the teacher and when it isn’t. We want students to be able to independently resolve conflicts but at the same time, we want them to come to us for the bigger issues like bullying. It is sometimes a fine line for students. As Dave asked, I think we can “drive the idea home” by encouraging students to be problem solvers and instead of reacting to the situation ourselves, ask them, “What could you have done to solve this problem?” and also by praising these behaviors when we see them.
Dave, you mention bullying in your post. Last night's COLUMBUS DISPATCH had an interesting article about bullying, especially with girls who are young. It spoke of parents who even support that kind of behavior. I'm not trying to say we don't need to interfere, but it does seem to be societal. One comment that especially caught my attention asserted that girls exclude one another in kindergarten! I thought of my somewhat shy granddaughter who is in first grade and wondered if she had experienced being left out. In high school some help from a teacher could make a situation worse, but not helping really is not an option. Clearly ,the goal is to establish a healthy, helping environment, however difficult that may be to accomplish. I think I am trying to do that, class by class, student by student, while trying not to be discouraged when the results are not immediate.
ReplyDeleteThe cutting line question reminds me of a time many years ago that I was talking to a parent about their child feeling the need to tell me everything. An example I used was that I didn’t want to know every time someone cuts in line because it really doesn’t matter. The parent responded by telling me at Cedar Point you get kicked out for cutting line so it really does matter. I just didn’t want to take the time away from academics to listen to this type of problem. I agree with Brooke’s comments about modeling for our student’s, too often I feel stressed about time and what needs to be accomplished academically and may not practice what I preach. I think Second Step addresses many of these issues that relate to the underlying theme of Rule #45, and I wonder if those lessons will become the good practical solutions we want our students to use. The “Wildcat Way” approach is also aimed at these. I believe students need positive ways to solve social problems, and we have to be facilitators of that learning.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with Brooke…we want to help support our students to become good problem solvers. At the same time, we need to step up and be a champion for our students that may need help from a bully situation. We need to find the happy medium to teach positive skills to cope, but enough guidance to help make sure they are safe when working through the tough issues. To make sure that the kids understand what to do, we need to do a lot of modeling of appropriate behaviors and get the point across that bullying is NOT ok at any level. We need to praise the situations when we see good reactions to difficult problems and make sure the kids see it too. Our Second Step program is helpful with some of these issues, as well. Belinda
I always hear the cutting in line complaint at lunch. When a student complains, I over-react and dramatically say something like "Well that's not fair! All the cake with extra sprinkles will be gone by your turn in line!" The student usually gives me a quizical look, then starts to laugh. At that point I remind them we are all going to the same place and all students will get their turn. Usually, no further discussion is required. If the student presses the issue, we talk it out, with me modeling the appropriate response for all parties involved. Throw in a healthy dose of Wildcat Way, and there just hasn't been that much complaining this year.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the Second Step program does a good job of acting out different situations that our children may face and it gives appropriate ways for them to respond. The Wildcat Way really seems to be sticking with the students of the school. At lunch I hear students say something they shouldn’t and before I can say anything another student is reminding him or her that saying that is not the Wildcat Way. Another thing I do with my students to make them think before running to me is ask them if they are going to “tell or tattle.” For Vickie’s post I went into depth about how I use that in my room.
ReplyDeleteAs I reflect on these posts, I realized that there is one comment that Brooke brought up that I have used before in my classroom as well. I do agree that we need to encourage students to be independently problem solvers. Because of this, I have also used a similar phrase in my classroom... "how do you think you can solve this problem?" After I read Brooke's post I realized that I do not use that phrase nearly enough. In the past, I used that phrase as a teaching tool on a frequent basis, but I just realized that I do not use it as much anymore. Susan, I really like your "tell or tattle" idea! That is something I will start discussing with students in my classroom. As many others have said, I agree that modeling is a huge part of teaching students how to resolve conflicts. Many students go to the teacher automatically because they do not know how to resolve the conflict on their own. In some cases, we do want students to come to us, but I agree that there is a "fine line" and students sometimes are not sure where that line is. I think that as we continue to model behaviors by using programs like Second Step, students will continue to improve their ability to solve conflicts on their own.
ReplyDeleteI have really enjoyed reading the posts and after going back and reading Dave's question again, I think the biggest thing we can do to help kids differentiate between "big problems" and "small stuff" is just talking about issues that come up. I really like Susan's Tell or Tattle idea. If something like that is in place in the classroom and all students have been taught what it means, it will take on importance and become a huge enforcer.
ReplyDeleteI think the ultimate goal for us as teachers is to make sure our students can survive and handle themselves in a postive way outside the walls of our school building. This shows true character when a student can act in a Wildcat Way when teacher's eyes are not watching. Like Brooke said, if we can model this problem solving approach our students will know ways to handle situations on their own...but it MUST be modeled. I like to ask my students, "How would you handle this situation differently?" They usually can tell me a better way.
ReplyDeleteThis week a boy came to me and said two girls were kicking him at recess. I tried Ron Clark's method. I took all three students out in the hall. I told the girls that the boy was a student in my class and they were not to kick him because if they did they would have to deal with me. I then told the boy he was not to do anything to tease/bother the girls or he would have to deal with me. This only took a couple of minutes and seemed effective.
ReplyDeleteThank you Belinda for reminding us that we need to "be a champion for our students." Parents send us the best they have, and we need to build on that emotionally, socially, and academically. For some students, tattling or telling is a method to initiate a conversation. I like Kathy's idea of a dramatic response because she's responding to the need for attention in a positive, fun way.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brooke and Debbie in that we need to model and differentiate between "big" issues and the "small stuff." Like Susan said, Second Step does a great job modeling these techniques for students, and as teachers we need to continually reinforce it after the lesson has been taught. Starting out my year with Second Step and the Wildcat Way has really cut down on those issues.
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed reading everyones comments. I agree with many others that it is my job first and foremost to model the behavior I desire. I try to be calm, cool, and collected and the students feed off of that in a positive way. I started the first month of school by implementing as many second step lessons as I could to do as much role-playing as possible of what was acceptable and not acceptable behavior for dealing with problems. One of the most important things we can teach children is how to deal with conflict on their own in a calm and collected manner. This is an important life skill. I open up the lines of communication with my students from the get go. If there is any type of bullying taking place, they are to let me know immediately. However, we have to really teach them the difference between tattling and telling. On the playground we have a lot of telling/tattling that take place. I usually try to walk the kids through problem solving on their own so that it can become a habit. Sometimes, like Kathy pointed out, it can be fun and appropriate to throw in a little humor. It's one way to find out if a student really has a legitimate complaint or not.
ReplyDeleteI like how Brooke started this conversation, model. Ultimatley, what Ron Clark has written isn't rocket science, and it's not going to cure cancer, but I believe this common theme is to have high expectations and to let your children know what they are and most important what it looks like...we cannot assume that our children know that if someone steps on your foot in line you can take a deep breath and think, "maybe that was on accident..." Likewise, we cannot assume that our children know that you apologize to someone when you step on their foot even if it was an accident. It involves training and lots of reinforcement. Positive commemnts, common goals, rewards for those who succeed. As I read Ron Clark's rules, I constantly go back to my Responsive Classroom Training, which is a way of building a positive classroom community, because the specific focus is on the first 6 weeks of school. After my training, I spent the first month and a half focusing on behavior and expectations, not the academic goals I had for the year because if I could build my community and we could work together, those learning goals were going to happen and we wouldn't be interrupted by negative behavior. This year I implemented a staggered start in PK in order to focus more on specific behaviors and expectations, and I must say that for certain behaviors it worked magnificently, because we had a chance to learn what I wanted from them and how to do it...Teach-Model-Focus on the Positive...I agree Brooke!!!
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ReplyDeleteLike Sharon, I also enjoyed reading about Kathy's dramatic response. It is a way of addressing the issue in a fun way that even made the students laugh! I also agree with everyone that the Wildcat Way and Second Step are very effective programs at NUE!
ReplyDeleteCutting in line is a DAILY issue in my classroom! I have one particular little girl that seems if she is not first in line the world might come to an end! Everyday I have to deal with "_________ cut in line!" Some students have gotten to just except the idea that she is always going to be first and go along with it. Others it will bother to no end! We have had whole class discussions on when it is appropriate to handle small situation on your own and when to involve the teacher. I have also used Kathy's theory on telling the students that we are all going to the same place and have even discussed scenarios on when it might benefit you to be last! However, some students you can talk their ear off or model day after day and their still not going to get it, but for the majority of the students modeling conflict resolution and discussing the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff" will make an impact. I have seen the "Wildcat Way" become very effective in the classroom and in the hallways. I hear students referring to it often when another student does not to something nice or fair. I am interested in seeing the impact the Wildcat Way has on the students over the next couple of years. I think for the first year of implementing it, it as been very effective.
ReplyDeleteI have also enjoyed reading all of the great comments shared. It has been wonderful to bounce ideas off of each other. Like Debbie, we feel so pressed to accomplish so much academically that we don't want to take the time to deal with the small issues that students think are so major. I think that if I model appropriate ways to handle such situations early, there will be significantly less problems to deal with later on. As Debbie said, our students need positive ways to handle social problems and that we should be facilitators in that learning. I am also interested in seeing what impact the Wildcat Way will have on students over the long run. Hopefully, it will remain just as effective as it is now.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rena that teachers feel so much pressure to deal with academics that we don't always want to take the time to deal with what we might consider the “small stuff”. We need to model appropriate ways to handle different situations and I think 2nd step does this. The "Wildcat Way" seems to be very effective throughout the school. I too am interested in seeing the impact the Wildcat way will have on students over the next several years.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brooke that we do need to better model for students how to handle situations. I also agree with Susan, that Second Step does a good job at giving students an opportunity to act out various situation. Pair up all of the Second Step lessons with the Wildcat Way and we are showing and modeling to students our expectations and how to handle situations they will come across at anytime. We as teachers just need to make sure we make the time to implement both. I agree with Connie that it will be so interesting and exciting to see how Second Step and the Wildcat Way impact our students over the next few years and many years to come!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sandra, that bullying is societal. We as adults are often bullies or are bullied and this passes on to our children. I have made it an essential rule in my classroom that we are to RESPECT each other, our possessions, our opinions, and our person. I have reached the time of the year when I often have to reteach some of my rules, because, just adults tend to get lazy after a few weeks of routine, my students are getting comfortable and need to be reminded of expectations. I think that modeling conflict resolution is another key. As an 8th grade teacher, there are times when students may feel in conflict with myself. This is an opportunity to show them that we can be respectful and handle the conflict internally.
ReplyDeleteI agree with most of the ideas written here! I explain to the kids at the beginning of the year the difference between tattling and telling. Tattling is telling to get the other person in trouble, like about running in the hall, cutting in line, and trivial things where nobody is hurt. Telling is used when someone is hurt or going to be, and when something is misused or destroyed, like ripped pages in a book, taking someone else's belongings, hanging on bathroom stall doors, etc. After the first time or two, when kids are asked if they are tattling or telling, they get the point and it stops, at least for most kids. I think that modeling is important and that Second Step and the Wildcat Way are vital parts to raising some responsible Wildcats! I have shared our buildings whole-group philosophy with a few friends who are frustrated with the way things are going for their kids in school, and am happy to tell them that we are seeing a great turn around in our building. At least in our fifth graders there is a big difference!
ReplyDeleteI love rules 50 and 51! What a great way to live your life!
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to rules 45 and 48, it looks like I agree with all of you. Although it would be much easier to avoid bickering and fighting if students were to just come to me with all their problems, it’s more important that children learn how to deal with their own problems. This is exactly why we use Second Step. Our students need to have the social skills necessary to deal with issues on their own.
The “policy” in my classroom is different for things like bullying and cutting in line. For things such as cutting in line I ask students to figure out how to solve the problems on their own. This is great practice for them to use the social skills they learn during Second Step lessons. More serious problems like bullying are to be brought to me immediately – especially if the student is being physically harmed. I want the children in my class to know that they can feel safe at school and in our classroom.
The wildcat way, project pride, saying the pledge, recycling, second step, are some ways we use to build up our students. Keeping a positive attitude and modeling for the students they will eventually catch on. It is a process. Like several of you have said already, respect.
ReplyDeleteI agree with all that th Second Step and the Wildcat Way are great examples of how we are building up our students. "Respect " is a big word in fifth grade. We as teachers try and model for them what this word looks like and how they can earn that respect from us. Bullying isn't one of those behaviors taht I will put up with. We have discussed this in all classes and I have seen some improvement in 5th grade. This could be due to the second step or to the Wildcat way pledge. I haven't seen the stduents complain this month about other students cutting in line. If anything we have a student who gets mad because he can't be the last person in line, and then he tattles. There are just times, when you ask them, is this really what you are upset about? Can we solve this another way? Could they have handled this independently on their own? We are trying to get 5th grade students to think positive in their approaches. Like Patti, I do see that we are making some headway....
ReplyDeleteSome ways I get kids to see that we don't need to sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff is by modeling appropriate behavior in my classroom. Second Step and the Wildcat Way have certainly helped with this. I agree with Roger about being positive. I think remaining calm and positive in my classroom provides my students with a good example of how to act/behave. They are always watching and truly do follow our lead. I have also used the following tactic with them when a student has gotten mad/yelled/ rolled their eyes/ called someone a name, etc.. with a classmate. "I have to work a lot with the other teachers in the building. Sometimes we may disagree with each other. Would it be appropriate for me to get mad/yell/roll my eyes/push/call someone a name every time I don't get my way?" This usually leads to a lot of laughs, but I stress the fact that they will often have times when they will disagree with others, but they need to handle these situations responsibly and respectfully.
ReplyDeleteIn some ways I am shocked when students do not know many coping or conflict resolution skills, however, there are times when I watch students interact with parents or other key adults and I understand completely why those skills may not be as strong as I would like. Brooke started this conversation off right… MODEL. As teachers we are always being watched and evaluated in the eyes of our students, they are learning so much from what we say and our actions. Guiding students through a problem and teaching them the skills to get to an acceptable outcome needs to be reinforced also. If a student responds positively to one situation we need to praise them and be specific with our praise. We also need to remind students of appropriate behaviors as we all sometimes forget things. I use the question “how could this situation be handled differently” a lot in my classroom hoping to encourage students to think about their actions.
ReplyDeleteI love Kelli's idea about relating our own issues as adults to students. When we give students examples like this, I believe it helps them relate to use more, and by relating more they begin to also model our behavior. I also liked reading all of the ideas above about giving positive praise to students who handle situations appropriately!
ReplyDelete1. One thing I try to do is ask a serious but ridiculous question when students come to me with “tattles.” For example, I always exaggerate and say “Is the world going to end? Do you need to go to the hospital?” etc. I usually get a giggle and then I ask what they think they should do. Most of the time, I get the answer that they should have ignored the behavior. I hope they can start to ask themselves the silly questions before they come to me.
ReplyDeleteThe reading this week seemed almost over-the-top at times; I kept getting visions of "Kindergarten Cop" in mind while reading. However, I do think that a lot of the "small stuff" is necessary in order to create the best learning environment. If we can address the small stuff, the "big stuff" will be a lot easier to address. As for "tell of tattle," any elementary school is rampent with tattling. Most of the time I just completely ignore tattling but try to check out the situation without drawing attention to it after the student has left my side. If it looks like something that needs to be addressed, then I will do so as inconspicuous as I can. However, if it is an issue the class would benefit from seeing it being dealt with, I may turn it into more of a lesson.
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree with many of the comments I see here- kids are not problem solvers. That is hard to teach because as parents we have to start that process from the time they are very little. I do not believe the majority of our students have been taught how to be problem solvers. Our students are quick to reaact and take the approach of I am entitled above anyone else. I think as a school we have some things in place such as 2nd Step but it is the everyday modeling and making sure you constantly use the same language when teaching how to think through a problem.
ReplyDeleteIn the grand scheme of things cutting in line is not that big a deal, but how often do we get mad when someone cuts us off on the freeway? If we are going to model then we should accept that this is going to happen and let it go. We need to work with the students about understanding and someday we may never have to deal with the freeway problem.
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ReplyDeleteagree with many of the comments about the Second Step helping to work out many of these problems. Kindergarteners are famous for tattling. It takes many times of asking "Is this about you?" If the answer is "no" then I ask "Are you trying to get someone in trouble or is someone hurt or having a problem?" After a while some students are able to see the difference between a tattle and a tell but many aren't. I think if we keep working with the Wildcat Way, Second Step and keep the "55" in mind we can make a big difference in the lives of our students.
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